My Presidential Campaign

Okay, I can't really run for president next year, because I have a lot of stuff to do, but if I was going to run, here's what I'd run on.

Military Strategy
I'd end America's habit of running long, low-grade wars like we did in Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq. If we need to use military force, we'd go in, break things, kill people, and then get the hell out. This would be cheaper and more effective in the long run, because our constant presence in someone's country wouldn't be a destabilizing influence. It would be better for our soldiers, who would remain rested, ready, and motivated by knowing that they'll be given clear, discrete objectives, and they'll come home as soon as they're done. 

Foreign Policy
This is tricky, because I don't know everything I'd need to know to come up with a good foreign policy. In fact, I hardly know anything. In general terms, I'd work to maintain and even improve our relationships with our allies. I'd keep the option for dialogue with our enemies open. Most of all, I'd worry less about what's going on in other countries and instead focus on making America better.



Regulation
Business has every right to expect that regulations be simple, effective, and justified. They have no right to complain about the idea of regulation itself, or to try to weasel out of public oversight by buying political influence. Business, especially when it's acting under the corporate model, has no morality. History has proven this time and time again. The narrow focus on profits blinds the business community to its responsibility to be good neighbors, and it needs to be watched and, when necessary, controlled.

Imprisonment
I'd work to end America's love affair with incarceration. Nobody should go to prison for petty or victimless crimes. Harsh sentencing violates both the spirit of America as well as the specific wording of the Eighth Amendment. Long sentences would be reserved for people whose crimes caused serious damage, people like mass murderers or the banking and finance executives who napalmed our economy in 2008.

The Drug War
There is no better example of the failure of expensive, rights-crushing government programs in America than the war on drugs. Conceived by idiots, conducted by idiots, and supported by idiots, it has become the thorn in America's paw, a corrupting influence on both culture and government. It encourages violent crime, and it's responsible for the near total destruction of the Fourth Amendment. Bad drug war! No, no, no!

Gun Control
In general terms, we've reached a reasonable compromise between unfettered access to any weapon whatsoever and Constitutional right to keep and bear arms. The solution to gun violence in America does not lie in punishing law-abiding gun owners. The only gun control measures I might consider would be a requirement that every gun owner receives safety training before exercising their right and a better way to track people who are too mentally ill to be a responsible gun owner.

Energy
Fossil fuels were a great way to build our modern, technological civilization, but now the unintended consequences are becoming too great to ignore. I would make America the undisputed world leader in moving toward the clean energy future. Part of that agenda would include a serious review of possible nuclear energy technologies, especially fusion technology, to see if we're putting our funds and our efforts in the right direction. Part of it would be to continue pushing the transition to proven clean-energy technologies like solar and wind.

Kanye West
Drone strike.

The Kardashians
Drone strike.

Drone Strikes
After taking out Kanye and the Kardashians, I would take a long, hard look at our drone program and see if it's really the way we want to conduct foreign policy, or if it's one of those "seemed like a good idea" solutions that needs replacement. I suspect that our increasing reliance on remote-control warfare is a lot like our war on drugs. It might actually prolong our problems instead of solving them.

Education
Knowledge is power in the modern world, and so I would fight to make America powerful by providing high-quality, low-cost education to every American citizen.

Immigration
The best way to deal with immigrants is to absorb them, to turn them into Americans. This happens with every wave of immigrants. The first ones have strong ties to their country of origin. Their children live between the old world and the new. Their grandchildren are fully American.

Religion
The right to freely worship, which includes the right to not worship at all, holds a primary place in the Bill of Rights, and it must be protected. The separation of church and state must also be protected. It was one of the founding principles of America for good reason. When you mix religion and government, you mess up both. We were meant to be, and we should be, a nation where individuals' religious beliefs are respected, but to do that we have to recognize that nobody has a right to impose their religious opinions on other Americans.

Honesty
We've become a phony nation in many ways. We're bombarded by slick marketing. We're offered groomed, media-ready politicians as candidates for public office. We fluff our resumes and dress for success. We're so concerned with image that we often lose sight of the substance. I want to change that, to make us a nation of critical thinkers who aren't fooled by a flashy presentation.

Bottom Line
We have a workable model for a modern, technological civilization here in America. Representative government, a capitalist economic engine, and some socialistic buffers to take the edge off and raise the general tone. We don't need a revolution in this country. We need to tweak the model to make it work better for more people. I doubt that job that will ever be finished, because civilization always faces degradation and change, so it requires constant maintenance and adjustment. That process requires that we be careful, that we be guided both by the lessons of the past and the best data available today.

Despite all our problems, many of which I haven't even mentioned, we have a good thing here in America. As your president I would work to preserve that good thing following some of the principles I outlined above. I want America to be around for a long, long time. I want it to be a happy and prosperous nation. I want it to be a wise and just nation. I want it to be a nation so good that we don't have to run around telling foreigners how exceptional America is, because they will be telling us.

I want it to be the nation it was on July 20, 1969, when we landed on the Moon and planted the words, "We came in peace for all mankind." That was America at its best, and I know that we can be even better in the future.